The Restaurant of Life

 >>OKAY, WELCOME TO LIFE. CAN I GET YOU STARTED. WITH SOME EDUCATION? >>YEAH, HOW MUCH ARE. YOUR COLLEGE DEGREES? >>FOUR YEARS A PIECE.

>>GREAT I'LL HAVE BUSINESS. >>ALL RIGHT. >>ENGINEERING. >>THAT'S AN EXTRA TWO YEARS.

>>I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING. ELSE RIGHT NOW SO... >>OKAY. AND FOR YOU MISS? >>UM.

I CAN'T DECIDE. >>IT'LL BE A YEAR. >>WHAT? I DIDN'T ORDER YET. >>TWO YEARS.

>>THE LIBERAL ARTS! >>YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THAT. >>AND FOR YOU? >>I'LL HAVE ENGLISH. >>WHIT WE'RE AT A NICE PLACE, GET SOMETHING REAL. >>ENGLISH IS A REAL DEGREE.

[LAUGHTER]  >>IT'S A REAL... >>OKAY HOW ABOUT SPOUSES? >>YEAH CAN I GET SOUL MATE? >>I DON'T KNOW WHERE. THAT RUMOR GOT STARTED, BUT WE DON'T SERVE THAT HERE. I CAN GIVE YOU.

"LOVE OF YOUR LIFE". >>OKAY. >>OKAY HOW DO YOU. WANT IT COOKED? >>DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

>>HOT. >>CRAZY HOT. LIKE MAKE IT A SPICY. I'VE GOT A LIST ACTUALLY.

>>PERFECT. >>SO UM, REALLY LONG BROWN HAIR, LIKE SHAKIRA. WAIT HER HAIR IS BLONDE? BROWN SHAKIRA. UM, SHE NEEDS TO.

HAVE STRAIGHT TEETH, NOTHING LIKE CRAZY LIKE. WHATEVER'S GOING ON HERE...   >>ALL RIGHT, HERE ARE YOUR SPOUSES. >>BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

>>AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH. UH, I'M SORRY, I ORDERED A MEDIUM, BUT THIS IS A LARGE. >>JUST HAPPENS WITH TIME. >>UM, IS MINE COMING? >>MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.

>>YEAH, I'LL JUST SETTLE. >>SCRATCH THE MODEL! BRING OUT THE SAD CAT LADY. >>MICROWAVE SPECIAL COMING UP. >>YUP.

CAN I INTEREST YOU. IN ANY CAREERS? >>UM, CAN I GET SOMETHING. WHERE I GO STRAIGHT INTO. THE TOP BECAUSE I'M SPECIAL? >>YEAH HERE'S OUR.

MILLENNIAL MENU. >>I'D LIKE NOVELIST PLEASE. >>YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO. HOLD ONTO THOSE OPTIONS.

HOW MUCH FOR C.E.O? >>20 YEARS. >>WHOA, PRICEY. >>WE DO HAVE A 15-YEAR OPTION, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO MISS ALL. OF YOUR SON'S BASEBALL GAMES.

>>I WILL HAVE THAT. >>OKAY, PERFECT. >>SPEAKING OF. COULD I GET A BABY? >>SURE THAT'LL BE NINE MONTHS.

OF SLUGGISHNESS AND VOMITING. >>ME TOO. >>IT'LL BE NINE MONTHS. OF WATCHING THAT.

>>UGH. NO. >>OKAY I'M JUST GOING. TO GET THREE BABIES.

>>WELL BEHAVED OR MONSTERS? >>WELL BEHAVED PLEASE. >>JUST KIDDING YOU. DON'T GET TO CHOOSE. >>YUP.

>>UH YOUR WIFE'S HERE. >>THANK YOU. WHOA. CAN YOU SEND HER BACK PLEASE? >>UH, SHE'S RICH.

>>THANK YOU. THAT'LL BE ALL. DON'T LOOK HER IN THE. EYES IT'S NOT SO BAD.

WHAT DOES YOURS LOOK LIKE? DANG IT.  >>I THOUGHT YOU. ORDERED THREE CHILDREN. >>YEAH THEY BROUGHT ME.

ANOTHER BY ACCIDENT. >>OKAY I'VE GOT FOUR MORTGAGES, CAREFUL THEY'RE HEAVY. SLOWER METABOLISMS, SOME STUDENT LOANS, AND SOME MIDLIFE CRISIS. >>MAN THIS MEAL.

IS GOING BY FAST! >>HOW MUCH FOR. LASTING HAPPINESS? >>GRATITUDE, SERVICE, SELF-IMPROVEMENT. >>GOSH, JUST BRING ME A CONVERTIBLE. >>SORRY, LIFE TAKES VISA.

>>WHAT HOBBIES. WOULD YOU RECOMMEND? >>BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE A HOBBY. WHAT YOU NEED IS A JOB. >>WRITING IS MY JOB! ALL RIGHT IT'S A PROFESSION! >>I DIDN'T MEAN TO KEEP...

OH! I WASN'T DONE WITH THOSE. >>YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO LET GO. THERE COMES A TIME WHEN... NO, NO! >>SIR, YOU'RE TIME IS UP.

>>SHOULD'VE SPENT MORE. TIME AT THE OFFICE. >>ORDER. >>THANKS.

>>YOU GOT IT. >>MY LATE WIFE USED TO TELL ME- >>OKAY, HERE ARE YOUR JUST DESSERTS. BEST SELLING NOVEL. >>YES! IT PAID OFF! >>JUST LIKE WE.

ALL SAID IT WOULD. >>AND YOU GUYS HAVE. ACCRUED SOME FREE TIME. >>ALL RIGHT, RIGHT AT THE AGE WHEN.

IT'S LEAST ENJOYABLE. >>AND HERE ARE YOUR GRANDKIDS. >>WELL THESE LOOK SPOILED. >>YOU ACTUALLY DID THAT.

>>THAT'S RIGHT. THREE MORE PLEASE. >>OKAY. >>THANKS.

>>WELL EVERYONE. IT'S BEEN A GOOD MEAL, WE SHOULD COME BACK SOMETIME. >>UH, WE HAVE A TRICK. Y.O.L.O.

POLICY. >>WE SHOULD'VE GONE TO. THAT INDIAN RESTAURANT. >>CAN WE GET A DOGGIE BAG? >>OH YOU CAN'T TAKE.

ANY OF THIS WITH YOU. >>FINE. LOOK I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT. IN LIGHT OF OUR INEVITABLE...

>>I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU GUYS. >>YEAH, THANKS. >>WAIT WE'RE NOT YOUR. LAST CUSTOMERS? >>DID YOU THINK THAT? >>I GUESS WE ALWAYS THOUGHT.

YOU'D CLOSE ONCE WE LEFT. >>YOU KNOW WHAT, SEND THEM A ROUND OF WISDOM. OUR TREAT. AND OUR NATIONAL DEBT.

[LAUGHTER] >>THERE IT IS. THERE'S THAT FISHERMAN'S WIT. >>WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU GUYS? SOME PRIVILEGED? DISREGARD FOR ELDERS? USUALLY WHAT YOU GUYS LIKE. >>NAH, WHAT ARE YOUR.

LUNCH OPTIONS LIKE? >>UM. WE HAVE A SMART PHONE WITH. A SIDE OF SELFIE OBSESSION. IF YOU LIKED THE SKETCH, I CAN OFFER YOU SUBSCRIPTION, BUT THE COST IS ONE CLICK.

OKAY. AND ALSO COMMENT BELOW IF. YOU WANT ANYTHING ELSE. OKAY, MAKE SURE YOU.

LEAVE A GOOD TIP. PLEASE. THANKS. WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT? >>APPLESAUCE.

>>APPLESAUCE DOES NOT FIT INTO. THE WORLD OF THIS SKETCH, WE'RE BEING CLEVER SO... >>UM, I WILL HAVE. ONE SUBSCRIPTION.

AND ONE LIKE PLEASE. >>YUP. OKAY. >>CAN I HAVE SOME LOTTERY? >>I CAN'T GUARANTEE YOU'LL WIN, BUT I CAN BRING IT OUT.

>>OKAY I'LL TAKE MARRIAGE THEN. >>GREAT. THANK YOU. WHAT CAN I GET YOU? >>OH, FLAPJACKS PLEASE.

>>FLAPJACKS. YOU NEED TO ORDER. THINGS FROM LIFE..